2024-11-20

I want people to take me seriously.

What is the direction that I would like to go to? or should go?

It's true that I would like to have a family in the end but I need more than that.

I went to a conference in philadelpia on the last weekend. I saw that there are two opposite streams of research, data drivien and theory driven approach. As everyone is trying to specialized on their own research, I could see that all the research is somewhat segregated to each other.

I also saw that how important it is to have a good public speacking skill. As there is not much research with a unique topic, even small things matters to stand out. Your gesture, tone and how fast your talk, all the little components are accumulated to one pile and impact on people to decide if they want to focus on the talk or not. How interesting it is that after you spent hours on the project, only people who are listening your talk is in maximum a dozen and that's it. I mean research is interesting as you can be the first one who figure out the potential answer of a resarch question but I could also see that how lonely it can be in the journey to find the one little grain-sized potential truth. Is it the thing that worth while to spend my rest of my life? There are so many component that I like in research but there are parts that I'm not confident that I can take care of it.

But long story short, I liked my experience in the conference. Even though now I have a big hole in my bank account, I think I have a better idea on where I am going to or what I want to be.